When Evangeline and I discovered we were pregnant for the first time, we did what countless other terrified young couples do—took Lamaze. There are only two things I remember about Lamaze. First, the instructor said, “ Make sure you talk to your baby. Baby can hear what’s happening from inside the womb.” So, I started talking to the baby. When I was in college, my friends and I had this silly voice that we used to talk to one another when we were hanging out. We spoke with a soft growl that sounded somewhere between Strong Bad from the old Homestar Runner cartoons and a stereotypical eastern European lunch lady. For some reason when I talked to our son from outside the womb, that was the default voice I used. For months, I would talk to him in that voice about all kinds of things: The weather: “I bet it’s warm and cozy in there! It’s snowing today—LAME!” Sports updates: “Lions lo...